Somewhere in between
by niuxen
Summary: For Tumblr drabble prompts "kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person's", " starting with a kiss meant to be gentle, ending up in passion" and "I'm alive… I can tell because of the pain." Warning for violence.


Poe knew something was off the minute he and Snap landed the transporter at their current base on Rori. The Millennium Falcon was already parked in its usual spot, which set the first alarm off for Poe. A couple of hours earlier Rey sent him a message through BB-8 she'd be coming home from her own mission later than him. Even Snap sensed the weird atmosphere in the hangar, not seeing the usual greeting scene of young Jedi jumping into Commander's arms and him lifting her off the ground.

„Where's your girlfriend?" Snap asked curiously, looking around. Even Chewbacca was nowhere to be spotted, doing regular check-ups and fixes on the Falcon.

Poe didn't answer and narrowed his eyes, unrest in his heart. Behind him, BB-8 rolled out of the ship.

[Master-Poe, R2-D2 is communicating Friend-Rey is unwell and is at the medical bay!]

Without a second thought, Poe ran for the base. Speeding through the tight corridors he almost stomped over a couple of other pilots.

At the entrance to the hospital part of the base, he met Leia talking to Finn and Rose, Chewie sitting in the back and roaring sadly.

He supported himself on Finn's shoulder and panted, „How bad is it?"

„She's in a really bad shape," Finn admitted painfully, turning to Poe, confirming what exactly he was afraid of.

„I have never seen her like that before," Rose added tearfully, holding onto Finn's other arm. „The things she said, Poe."

Leia sighed and pressed her lips together. „My son is clearly rising in power."

In a split second Poe was at the door, his hand over the handle, determined to face whatever state his beloved was in. A hand on his forearm stopped him.

„She will hurt you. Mentally and physically," Leia warned, deep concern in her eyes.

„I will handle it like I handled it before. I can take her hurting me as long as she doesn't hurt herself," he replied without missing a beat.

Rose shook her head, sniffing, „It will be worse than before, Poe."

Anger overtook him. „What do you want me to do? Sit on my ass, while she's fighting him off on her own? She needs to know she isn't alone," he begged and his heart tightened when a sob on the other side of the door reached his ears.

Leia nodded and let go of Poe's arm. „We'll try to find a way to distract him, but I can't promise you anything. Try to get through to her."

Poe mouthed thanks at her and with one confident movement grabbed the door. The moment he walked past it a force pushed him to the right. His back hit the wall so rapidly he heard his bones crack. His head was pushed to the side, but with the corner of his eye, he saw a woman's figure, sitting in the corner on the other side of the room. He realized her hands were cuffed with Quadanium steel but it didn't stop her from creating a pure mess around the room with the strength of her mind. Her hair was in a messy bun, deep, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes making the woman of his life almost unrecognizable. This surely wasn't his usually cheerful Rey.

„You," Rey hissed and laughed sourly, „I cracked your head once before." With every word coming from her mouth Poe felt a grip on his neck tighten as if real fingers traced his skin.

It was obviously Kylo speaking through her mouth, but the pilot didn't lose hope. Last time Rey had an attack she easily fought it off with a smile on her face. Poe needed to find out what changed since he witnessed her getting stronger with each day.

„You're gonna tell me in which system the last of Rebel scum is hiding in," she demanded yet Poe didn't feel the pressure on his throat to ease.

Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and burning pain started consuming every muscle in his body. He couldn't speak, he couldn't even open his mouth to scream. Images of his and Rey's life together flashed in front of his eyes. Their first mission together, first time flying together, their first date, first love-making and Rey moving in with him to his Commander quarters. Everything most dear to Poe's heart framed with unbelievable pain, but it let him pull away Kylo's attention from base's location.

„Pathetic," Rey roared, „You made her so weak. So distracted."

Suddenly Poe was able to speak, so he spat while he could, „Well, that's a first. Thanks for ending this charade of talking in the first person." Blood filled his mouth with every word he said, but it was worth it.

Rey's face didn't flinch a bit. „She doesn't love you, she's using you," Kylo mocked though her lips.

Poe snorted, the uneven surface of wall grazing his right cheek while he spoke, „Using me? I'm nothing special. I don't have any power, and I sure as hell don't own any wisdom."

„And yet she chose this cesspool even though I offered her the galaxy," she grimaced and put her hands up. „So you both lack wisdom."

„At least I'm not a killer," Poe grunted.

An ugly chuckle reached his ears. „Sure you are."

Poe's head was forced to face Rey who stood up and walked closer to him, at the distance shackles let her.

„Every person you recruit, every person you send off to fight your battles will die, and he will die because of you," she continued, inspecting his face.

Poe shook under her stare, tears streaming down his face, „I mourned every person lost. But I'm not the little bitch who killed his own father to seek approval of a man who doesn't give a shit about him."

„Shut up!" Rey shouted and threw him to the ground, Poe's nose hitting the floor first, surely breaking. „Who cares about Snoke, I'm even more powerful than him now."

„Maybe," Poe doubted, blood dripping from the fresh wound, „but all you have is power."

Not hearing any response he looked up to see Rey with mixed emotions on her face. She was fighting Kylo. „I have enough of this conversation," she whispered slowly, but Poe wasn't yet sure which one of them was speaking.

„We're not done yet," she answered herself in a lower voice. „Tell me what system are you in or I will kill him."

„No," Rey whispered again but the unbearable pain was tearing apart Poe's body again.

Blackness absorbed his vision, nothing but screech ringing in his ears. Nothing but despair filled his heart and mind, dramatic scenes from the past replaying in his head combined with awful visions of future. He couldn't talk anymore nor scream, he only felt deep bruises emerge in every muscle of his body. 'I love you, Rey,' he managed to tell her through force before he passed out.

At last, Rey woke up from the worst nightmare of her life to find an even worse one take place in front of her. The moment she regained full consciousness and saw Poe laying on his face on the other side of the room she started yelling.

„FINN!" she shrieked and writhed at the end of the chain, nausea filling her body.

The steel doors opened immediately and Finn stormed in her direction.

She groaned, holding in a sob. „No, kriff, no. Check him first," she begged, not able to ask the question that haunted her.

Without a word, Finn crouched over Poe and turned him around. It was the longest second ever in Rey's life. At last, he shouted back, „He's breathing!"

Rey let out a breath, leaning against the cold wall, but couldn't stop sobbing yet.

Not long after Leia entered the hospital room, carrying a small aid kit. Her eyes revealed despair, but she remained her cool reviewing the mess around her.

„Finn, give me the handcuffs key," General asked. „Are you able to move him to the bed?"

He nodded, handed her the key and walked back to Poe. With a few grunts, Finn lifted Poe and placed him slowly on the hospital bed next to the door.

Rey watched numbly Leia crouch slightly and release her.

„I ordered Rose and Kaydel to go get a medic, they're waiting at the tarmac already for his arrival," she attempted to cheer up the Jedi.

In the background Finn run out the door, shouting, „I'll grab everything we have from the stockroom!"

Handcuffs fell to the floor and Rey rushed to Poe's side. „What did I do?" she whimpered, caressing her lovers face. „I was so weak, Leia. I couldn't stop Kylo."

„You did stop him," Leia disagreed and walked over to her. She put a hand on Rey's shoulder and then spread the contents of her small kit next to Poe's thighs. „You both were strong and didn't tell him where the base is."

Rey shook her head. „You probably had to distract him."

„No, the backup plan didn't work," Leia sighed and patted Rey away. „I couldn't fetch his thoughts. Chewbacca was supposed to find any First Order ship on the other side of the galaxy to briefly draw their attention but for once it was them who were hiding from us."

Silence followed and Leia put some smelling salts under Poe's nose, lips moving in a silent prayer in an unknown language.

„Don't worry child, your fear will turn only into strength now," Leia comforted and smiled weakly.

The younger woman gritted her teeth. „I let the fear into my heart."

Leia nodded „Yes, and unfortunately my son sensed a weakness and an opportunity in it. Do you know what your fear was?"

Rey glanced back to Poe. „Yes," she answered, voice breaking. „We've been talking lately about the future... I think he was planning on asking me to get married-"

„He is," Leia interrupted her quickly, still smiling at her.

„And then he had this close call last week when he went to Maz to ask about buying new X-wing's for his new recruits and a TIE spotted him just when he was about to leave the Tashtor sector," Rey babbled but paused feeling Poe's arm move slightly under her fingers.

„I know, I was in the control room," Leia said and pointed to a cupboard, „throw one towel into cold water, he's burning."

Rey felt dizzy while she followed General's order, her mind still racing. „I know I was selfish, and it doesn't go with Jedi teaching... I can't lose him."

Leia stepped aside to let Rey put the towel to Poe's temple. „I don't think it's a matter of Jedi rules or selfishness. Nobody wants to lose the ones he loves. But it's hard to live with your mind in a constant state of danger. You have to accept the whole package that comes with loving a person. The happiness and the possibility of losing it."

„The balance," Rey whispered and brushed with a thumb Poe's lips, continuing to clean the blood around his mouth and nose.

„Yes, the balance. I learned not to try to precede the bad things that may happen. I always will fight tooth and nail, but as much as I would want to I don't have the power to prevent it all," Leia admitted and walked over to R2-D2 at the other side off the door. „Good, the medic has landed."

Then Poe choked and opened his eyes. Confused expression turned into a grimace when he realized the pain pulsing through his veins.

„Poe!" Rey exclaimed. „How are you feeling?"

„Alive. I can tell because of the pain," he grunted and cracked a smile. „But otherwise fine."

Tears shimmered in Rey's eyes but she couldn't stop herself from kissing him. Laughing through tears, she bent over him to place a gentle and quick peck on his lips. Even though receiving a faint response, she was so desperate to feel every inch of him and every brush of his lips. In that moment he was her air, nothing else mattered. Rey's whole body curved into his, gently avoiding pushing pressure on the bruises, yet wanting to be as close as possible. However, in all her passion she forgot about Poe's face meeting with the floor.

„Ouch," he yelped in pain, breaking the kiss.

Rey lifted herself and put the cold towel to his nose. „I'm sorry. It's definitely broken."

Poe sighed, but shrugged, „I've been worse. I'm so proud of you, beautiful."

Rey scoffed, „How can you be proud of me?"

He looked at her, playfulness long gone from the tone of his voice, „You were strong enough to fight him off. Again."

„No, you were strong enough to get through to me," Rey protested.

„Team effort," Poe settled.

Finally, an older medic, a tall Mirialan, entered the room, followed by Finn carrying truly every medicine and bandage he could find in the supplies.

With Rey's help the medic removed Poe's jacket and shirt, so she could examine the pilot and start applying injections and bandages to some of the open wounds. Meanwhile, Rey put some ointment to the blue marks across Poe's calves.

„So, listen," Rey started when Finn left, „I was thinking about what you said about starting our own family and so on..."

Poe interrupted her, his words muffled by the medication the medic put into his mouth, „Hey, don't worry about it, it was just a loose idea. We don't have to, like, get married or do anything-"

„Yes, we do," she replied firmly and put her left palm into his right, interlacing their fingers „Otherwise, all of this was for nothing. I won't let him win, I won't let the fear win."

Poe's eyes widened. „Do _you_ want it?"

„Yes. Please marry me," Rey replied and grinned. The medic kept doing her job, totally ignoring the scene playing around her.

„Well then," Poe grunted and with free hand grabbed his necklace. „This wasn't how I planned this. Please take it," he said and handed her the silver ring.

They both looked like hell, but neither couldn't care less. Love drove out the fear from Rey's heart the second she put on Shara's ring on her finger.

„I love you," Rey laughed and kissed Poe's knuckles.

„Love you too," he slowly replied, painkillers apparently kicking in.

Rey left the room to let the medic put back together the broken nose, and in the corridor found Rose waiting nervously for her and any news of Poe's state.

„How is he? How are you?" her friend inquired and rushed to hug Rey.

„He's going to be fine, we'll be fine," Rey replied and tightly hugged Rose back.

She felt invincible with the cold piece of metal wrapped around her finger.


End file.
